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Allow Nick Offerman to blow your mind with transcendent shower thoughts

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There are a lot of rules out there that aim to hold the people down and prevent them from reaching their full potential, but these are not rules by which gruff thespian Nick Offerman abides. He’s a free thinker, and his musings are as entertaining as they are insightful. Offerman demonstrated his wisdom once again in a new video from Mashable, in which he offers a selection of shower thoughts that might just turn your world upside down.

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He opens with a supreme bomb-drop: “Every restaurant is a drive-thru with sufficient acceleration.” From the get-go, it’s clear that Offerman has a lot of his mind, and that it would be in everybody’s best interest to listen. He doesn’t let any preconceived notion control the way he thinks, which is why he’s able to realize that “taking candy from a baby is actually a responsible thing to do,” and that “‘college ruled’ is both a type of paper and something losers say.”

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In case the above video doesn’t offer quite enough Offerman wisdom, here’s a Muppets-approved bonus clip that didn’t make the final cut:

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Watch the full video above, and in case you missed Offerman’s original “Shower Thoughts” video, check that out here.