Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

This is theoretically what a Tim Burton porno would look like

Their appetites apparently not sated by Edward Penishands, Rod Wood, or Beetlejuice Bones Some Skank In The Dumpster Behind Arby’s, the merry pranksters of Nacho Punch have crafted their own approximation of a Tim Burton-directed pornographic film. “Porn By Tim Burton” offers a few amusing, generally SFW minutes of an imaginary film called Edward Skimmerhands, which draws largely from Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands but approximates the pale-skinned, suburban Gothic look and darkly whimsical tone of the late 1980s/early 1990s Burton canon. The plot is a classic “lady and the pool boy” scenario with some biological mutation added for good measure. A poofy-haired, flashback-prone young man with blue plastic skimmers for hands finds both gainful employment and extracurricular romance in the swimming pool maintenance industry. Bonus points are awarded to Nacho Punch for the video’s Danny-Elfman-meets-Cinemax score, which is a nice touch. Sunscreen is also put to creative (read: filthy) use at one point. And the leading lady gets a classic final line: “Sometimes, you can still catch me covered in it.”