Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
We may earn a commission from links on this page

You don’t have to be Jared Leto to look like an asshole this Halloween

We may earn a commission from links on this page.

The inevitable pre-made “Jared Leto-as-Joker” Halloween costumes have arrived, and they’re worse than we could have expected. The costumes, all of which are based around one of those skin-tight shirts that make the wearer look like they have a bunch of tattoos, boast components like a slicked-back green wig and pimp-like purple “snakeskin” coat, both of which would probably go up in flames with the flick of a single cigarette ash.

Even more terrifying is the model that sites like HalloweenCostumes.com are using to hawk the items, as he’s both leering and menacing, all at once. Take, for instance, this picture, which finds him shilling for the aforementioned wig:

Advertisement
Advertisement

Is the wig supposed to make his head look that flat or is that a bad Photoshop job? Either way, the airbrushed shirt muscles don’t help.

Advertisement

He even manages to vamp it up a bit for the picture advertising the makeup kit. Does daddy want a kiss?

Advertisement

Please note, even a full tube of white cream makeup cannot cover up close-cut stubble. Fortunately, the kit includes two temporary tattoos that you can use to distract fellow Halloweenies.

Put that all together, and you get this, which, at $49.99, seems about right, considering you’ll have to provide your own pants, boots, and creepy stalker walk:

Advertisement

For a mere $20 more, though, you can opt for the vampire-style “deluxe Suicide Squad joker costume,” which includes a “jacket and shirt combo” that seems to strap onto the body like smock, fitting “easily with Velcro in the back.”

Advertisement

With an exaggerated collar and jacket panels that “fasten at front with Velcro behind foam circles that look like buttons,” you know this costume is high quality, especially considering both the wig and the makeup are not included. That the jacket appears to be made of shower curtain PVC doesn’t help, either. Also, does this guy look like Nathan Fillion, or is that just us?

Also not included, the maniacal laugh, which HalloweenCostumes.com says you’ll have to provide yourself, along with an “arsenal of weapons.”